Natural Rhythm
In the early days after the birth of a child, we are consumed by getting the baby to feed, counting diapers, navigating one's own healing and trying to find a moment to sleep. It's pretty common to feel completely overwhelmed and have no sense of rhythm!
In postpartum visits, I find myself asking, "have you had a chance to enjoy your baby?" It's usually answered with a look of surprise and realization that they haven't taken a moment to drink in the beauty of the creation they made and brought earthside. They haven't had the chance to really get to know their tiny human.
Yes, keeping a newborn alive is an all-encompassing job. Yes, there are hurdles and even some detours that need to be taken. So, how do we find some enjoyment as we become parents?
A few ways that may help us find a little beauty in this chaos...
Take a look at your baby(ies) - really look. Look at their facial expressions, listen to those coos and cries - get to know their language. Count their fingers and toes, dimples and rolls, touch that oh so soft skin. It's a good thing they make them so stinkin' cute, isn't it?! A dollop of gratitude and a pat on the back for the fact that they're here and you've kept them alive this long!
image from @yusriyvstheworld
Take a look at your expectations. Have you (subconsciously?) put a set of expectations or milestones in front of yourself? Are you looking at other parents, social media or entertainment as your "guide to a successful parenthood" or what you should be doing? What story(ies) are you holding on to, and are they serving you? Are they even realistic for a newborn baby and parent?!
Check-in with your intuition - where's the rub? What feels counter-intuitive? If something feels like a battle or frustrating, maybe it's not speaking to your values! Listening to your intuition opens the door to other possibilities that may work better for your family. It’s okay down the parenting book, stop "googling it” and use the clock sparingly.
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you'll be criticized anyway" - Eleanor Roosevelt
Find support! Many times it's not only comparison and unrealistic expectations that can steal our joy; we need some of our basic needs met. What oxygen mask(s) can we put on you so you can meet your baby's needs? Of course, this looks different for everyone, but here are a few favourites:
Getting a shower or simply getting dressed.
Having regular meals that you don't have to cook or clean up.
Having extra hands to do a few chores or just hold the baby while you take a hot minute to yourself!
Having someone to talk to about all the ups and downs who isn’t going to provide unsolicited advice or judge your choices.
Creating support to have these needs met may take some creativity or a flip in perspective, but that's what I'm here for ;)
Parenthood is a mix of magic and messy. Connecting with your natural rhythm can help you go from surviving each day to finding a little joy in every day.
If you’ve got questions about what support could look like for you, leave a comment or be in touch!
