Fall Back - The Time Change
Remember when the time change meant getting an extra hour of sleep?!
As a parent of a tiny human or a few, these archaic time changes can feel frustrating and challenging when your relationship with sleep is already a little unstable.
It's easy (and even normal) as a human to jump into a negative thought spiral and even easier as a parent when new challenges come into play.
Here are four ideas to make the time change feel like less of a struggle.
• SHIFT YOUR PERSPECTIVE.
Sleep shifts at many points during parenting, and worrying about or having negative associations can do more harm than good! There are ample ways to settle ourselves and approach stressful situations (like time changes and lack of sleep) with more calm.
To shift our own, and our children's perspective, we first need to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, to feel a deeper sense of calm and safety. We can do this by merely breathing more deeply, meditating, and practicing inversions (any position that gets the legs higher than the heart). Adding more smiles and hugs to our day is another easy tool - boosting our oxytocin levels makes us feel good.
Affirmations are another incredible tool to conquer tricky experiences. Some useful ones for the time change might be, "This too shall pass!" "I'm enjoying the autumn leaves changing colours." "I'm enjoying this hot cup of coffee or tea." An affirmation does not have to be fancy or complicated, it just need to remind you of the good already around you.
• SLEEP HYGIENE - SET YOUR FAMILY UP WITH HEALTHY HABITS.
Studies show that our sleep environment is closely linked to the quality of our sleep. With shifts in time, keeping our environment and our sleep routines in place can help everyone adjust more smoothly. Here are a few factors to consider:
Lights Out! Any form of artificial light in the evening hours can affect our own and our children's sleep. Consider using blackout blinds and eye masks, and aim to reduce the usage of televisions, tablets, phones, and night lights close to bedtime and during nighttime hours. If you need to use a light the night, red-hued lighting, such as salt lamps, keeps our brains from getting stimulated into awake mode.
Keep calm and connected. Studies show that the more calm we feel before bedtime, the easier it is to fall asleep. Plus, our sleep is likely to be deeper and more restorative. Journalling, drawing, or verbally letting go of our day or any worries is a valuable activity for parents and children to incorporate into their bedtime routine. Activities that connect with our loved ones - playing a game, chatting through our thoughts, having some cuddles - help everyone feel safe and ready to release into rest.
Regularity and routines. Children often like a sense of familiarity and routine. Creating a simple habit of connection and calming activities before bed can positively affect bedtime and sleep and cue your little one that it's time to settle in, relax and sleep. Bath, brushing teeth, pj's, books, songs, slow dancing or cuddles, the list could go on! Pick just a few things to keep it simple and unrushed, and look to be as present as possible to your little one. A reminder that some children do not find baths calming - pick a routine that works for you and your children; it doesn't have to look like anyone else's!
Parents - get to sleep earlier. Head to bed and read, listen to music or meditate before your regular bedtime. An earlier bedtime or restful practice is helpful when navigating a time change but could also be a helpful habit to throw in once or twice a week. It's a tiny bit of "self-care" that can give you that extra boost you might need for an early riser. Making time to sleep in on weekends is also a great treat. While that might seem impossible with little people, you can plan for this by having one parent, grandparent or friend rise with the early risers so you can get just a few more minutes of stress-free winks. Maybe you'll even get hot coffee in bed? I'm sure you'll offer to take next weekend, right?
• GET ACTIVE. GET SUNLIGHT.
Fresh air, sunshine, movement and new scenery are magic – they help revive us if we've had a rough night, offer us necessary Vitamin D, and they are also great ways to help our circadian rhythms stay on track. Movement may feel like the last thing you want to do when you're exhausted, but the endorphins released during and after being active will make you feel much better… You just have to get started!
Additionally, our bodies need sunlight to regulate our melatonin levels and "body clocks". They want bright sunlit days, and dark nights to function optimally.
Getting outside can also help us enjoy the seasonal shift and socialize (and empathize) with other parents that are going through the same transition.
• AMP UP EMPATHY AND SELF-CARE.
Fit in time to do things that make you feel whole. Easier said than done! This may take some conversations and being intentional about creating support for yourself. What are the things in your day or your week that fill you up, make you feel grounded and capable of taking on the day or the rest of the week? What do you look forward to? It could be as simple as a hot shower without having to worrying about meeting your child's needs. How about setting up child care so you can go to a class of some sort? If you feel riddled with guilt, know that even the airlines promote putting on your own oxygen mask before putting on your child's.
Empathy with your little ones. The time change means nothing to our little ones. When they respond negatively to a shift in their sleep it's because it doesn't feel good to their body, not because they are trying to be difficult. Take a moment to bring them close and acknowledge their feelings; let them have some time to feel and process the emotions they might be having. As author L.R. Knost puts it so well, "when little people are overwhelmed by big emotions, it's our job to share our calm, not join their chaos."
Empathy with yourself. We can all lose our kewl when it comes to lack of sleep, combined with energetic children. If you snap or are unkind with your tone of voice, remember that you can apologize for overreacting and let them know you'll do better next time. "I'm so sorry, I love you," and a cuddle can go a long way. Don't forget to hug yourself and forgive yourself too!
While the autumn time change can have implications on our bodies and routines, it's good to remember that we can do hard things and by tuning into our little ones instead of watching the clock can make this time of struggle pass more quickly!
This blog post is inspired on a previous post about the time change written in collaboration with Kate Sissons. Kate is a mother of school-age twins and a newborn, a lactation consultant and doula and a specialist in movement for pregnancy, birth and postpartum. Learn more about Kate here.
